Tuesday, January 1, 2013

small faith, Great God (Published 2010)

     Have you ever wondered if God was listening to you during those dark times in your life? My wife and I are living proof that although His timing is not our timing, it definitely is the right time!
     It all started during the third year of running my own courier company in the Colorado Springs area. Though sales growth had leveled off because of the slowing economy, I hoped that some of my new ideas would gain some traction in the business sector.
     About this time, I began a desperate struggle with anxiety—and, at times, I was sure I would lose the battle. Rapid weight loss followed, dropping me from 225 to 180 pounds.
     One day while sitting in my home office looking at the beer bottles from the night before piled in the trash can, I shook my head disgusted with myself. Suddenly, a deep feeling moved within, a feeling saying I was to stop drinking alcohol that day. It’s not that I see anything wrong with having a beer or glass of wine, but I felt God was laying it on my heart to give it up. Without a second thought, I never picked up another alcoholic drink. 
     God helped me through that period with relative ease as the desire to drink was just no longer there. I started attending church more often and spending most of my waking days listening to Christian music, reading the Bible, and attending every possible church function I could. But two things didn’t change: first, my business slowed even further as my best client ended its partnership with my company; second, my anxiety worsened as I began thinking negatively about myself as a husband and provider. And then the best thing any man could want happened—my wife became pregnant with a baby boy.
     The challenging time for our family continued as I finally had to close down the business, file bankruptcy, and look for a job in a struggling economy. Anxiety dominated my thoughts as I watched my wife’s abdomen grow with our son. At times I would be excited; but when alone with my thoughts, I was terrified about how I was going to provide for them.
     We managed to make ends meet with help from family, all the while remaining in prayer and slowly ridding ourselves of everything sinful in our lives. Everyone encouraged us that God would reward us for what we were doing and assured us that He heard our prayers.  Personally, I wasn't looking for things to get better, I was just hoping they wouldn't get worse. But then came the prayer…. 
     I prayed while I drove (eyes open), “God, I will serve You no matter what!” At that moment, I looked down for a second and then back up again—just in time to see my front end ram the back of the vehicle in front of me. My first response was to think, Are you kidding me? Relying on my faith, I refused to give in but praised God for whatever His purpose was in the accident. The owner of the vehicle happened to be a Christian and because I didn’t have insurance at the time God led him to forgive me for the expenses. Thank you, Jesus!
     Soon thereafter, my brother Preston came to live with us while he worked on a job site in the area. He is a hardworking man who, when a teenager, was in love with God. Life has dealt him some rough hands and he was just trying to hang on. Now there were two of us trying to encourage each other and I continued to proclaim my faith in God through everything.
     One night on the way home from picking up Preston from his job, a truck made an illegal turn in front of us and my car was totaled. I was at a loss. Why had God let this happen? Here I was trying to serve Him with all my heart and that same heart was about to break under the stress of events.
     Finally, the sun began to shine and our Lord showed up (although He had always been there). I was offered a tech support job with a major telecom company and the pay was more than enough to get us by. Soon after the offer, our son was born, bringing great joy into our lives. The only problem still remaining was the fact that we had no cars.
     One night, my wife’s mom called to say that she would co-sign for us on a car. With that blessing, we bought a brand new vehicle with a great interest rate. We were so thankful to God for His having met that need, but we knew we needed another car for my wife.
     Our credit was so bad after the bankruptcy that few would lend money to us. We had one offer at nearly 22% interest. In our frustration, we decided to check one last dealer. In another awesome way, God gave us favor with the dealer and we got a loan for another brand new car at 15% interest, still high, but drastically lower than the previous rate.
     While walking through these tough times, we learned a great lesson: when you’re crying out to the Lord, remember He is ALWAYS listening. He will answer your prayers! His answer may not be in the way you expect, but not only will it be the right time, you will look back on it with a greater faith as He brings you through tough times. 
     My wife and I want to encourage you to keep pressing forward, being faithful, and praising God in all things.


Jeffrey Brandon Lee

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